Tuesday, June 14, 2011

The rattles in the closet...

Here’s question that came to mind today: How often does your past meet your past, present and future?
What I mean is – how often do you past experiences (your skeletons) impact your life – whether they have, they are, or they will?
We all have skeletons – those bad experiences and memories that haunt us. I’m the first to admit that there are many things that have shaped who I am now that change how I think or act. Sometimes, those changes are for the good but sometimes, they are not.
I’m a worry wart by nature. Seriously – I really am!
HA – we know that’s the understatement of the year. ;-)
I worry about everyone especially. I want everyone to be happy. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But really, I just don’t want anything bad to happen. I want to protect my family and my friends from those evils, including the evils they bring upon themselves. I’m the first to admit that I’m not perfect – I make mistakes and I don’t always do what I should. I try my best, and I know sometimes it’s not enough. And sometimes it all just comes out wrong – I think a few friendships have suffered from that… but I always mean well.
Well, the fact is that sometimes I have a hard time dealing with the worries about my own life, my own doings, my own feelings, or worse – my own future. Sometimes, you have to have faith that history won’t repeat itself. It’s finding that faith that is the biggest challenge – at least for me. Being able to sort out the emotions and facts logically and figuring out what exactly it is that I’m worried about is the challenge. It’s much easier to believe in what’s proven rather than in the unknown. The saying “take leap of faith” didn’t come from just anywhere, right?
(On a side note – why is that whenever I’m writing my blogs, so many cliché sayings come to my mind that I have to use?)
So the other part that I thought of is what is that pushes us to take that leap? What drives each of us to have that faith, when maybe you’re unsure, worried, and/or scared? No matter how you find that faith – it comes from somewhere. There are many points in our lives that we make choices – as kids, adults, parents, grandparents… and how much are those choices impacted by our past and/or by our faith?