That whole aging thing...

I warn all readers now – some of you may roll your eyes at me, or shake your heads, or mutter something under your breath (“Seriously?”). The title may have elicited that reaction already.

But some of you may laugh or smile too… So, here we go. J

Okay – so my birthday is Thursday – and I’m turning the grand ole age of *twenty*-*nine*. 29. I’m officially a Leo-Virgo in many more ways than one, and of course, there’s been some logical and emotional struggling for me to cope with embarking on my last year of my twenties… before I hit the ungodly age of 30. I’m not EVEN going to go there. (I predict a mid-life crisis at this time next year – or rather – an expensive trip to Italy to satisfy my craving to do something “crazy.”)

Many of my girlfriends laugh at me for fearing my age. 26. 27. 28. 29… Keeps creeping up, doesn’t it? But, let me start with this:

If you’d asked me where I’d be today about 10 years ago (could be farther back than that but 10 seems like a nice, round number), I would have said, “Married. Parent with one kid and another kid planned/on its way. A career woman… either a lawyer or a teacher, after getting my Masters.”

Whoa – what the heck happened?! I’m not married, nor a parent, nor a lawyer, nor a teacher.  None of those. Nothing what I expected or predicted. Hmph.

So, what did happen? Well – my life – duh. But sometimes I forget how I got here… and I fear that time is slipping away… Am I ever going to get married? Am I really going to have kids in my 30s? Am I ever going to be able to work as a teacher (still something I want to do when I have additional income to support me)? Am I going to go back to school (with the associated looming question of what the hell would I study)? Gah – question after question to remind me that I’m still nowhere near where I thought I’d be.

This is where all those aforementioned girlfriends quickly chime in… some of course annoyed of the constant reminding. They have to remind me that I wouldn’t be me… and hey look at how much I have seen, experienced, gained, learned, accomplished, etc.

They’re right – I wouldn’t give it up for the world. I could have been married or had kids too early (too early for me, no insults to anyone here)… but that would have been a HUGE mistake for me. Instead of becoming a lawyer or a teacher, I have a career at a rather huge consulting company doing work that is related to public policy (that part I do like about my job, just not all of the nitty gritty). I’m an independent young woman – setting goals for myself all the time (personal and career), learning new things, and just living my life the way I want to… selfishly for now because, well, I can.

I do appreciate my life. I’m happy that this is the course I’ve taken. Things happen for a reason, and I do believe in that. People live long in my family, so I likely have a very long life ahead. So, instead of dwelling on the number, how about I celebrate the 29 years I have been around and throw my worries away?

Sounds like a plan… except realistically, I’ll probably still complain I’m getting old J. Some things just don’t change.

BUT, I will recognize that my life isn’t about a silly plan that I made up when I had no clue what I was talking about…when I was young and unknowing. No – it’s about me and recognizing that being me now is the best thing I could give myself every year for my birthday.

When does age make a difference?

It’s a question that I’m tossing around in my head, and I haven’t come to a clear conclusion.

My birthday is in two weeks. I love my birthday – always have. From what my parents tell me and from what I remember, I use to plan birthdays months in advance. What presents I wanted (and expected), what I wanted to do… And as much as I tread getting older, what can I say – I like to take advantage of celebrating a day that’s all about my existence.

But I digress… ;-)

The point of this post is actually not about my birthday, although it is what triggered the reason for me to write this post.

I’m dating someone older – 13 years, 4 months older to be more precise. What I can’t get over is how many people comment on the age difference. The age difference is almost taboo for some people. I don’t get it. Why does it matter? If two people are happy together and the relationship works, then why does it matter? I mean – there are instances that it’s obviously WRONG, but I’m saying – I’m happy, he’s happy… why is 13 so much bigger than 1, 5, or 10? Seriously?

Age makes a difference in our lives, but where do we draw the line? Age makes a difference in your mental and physical capacity. However, my 91 year old grandfather proves every waking day that he’s still sharp and witty. Age makes a difference in experiences and wisdom, but it’s not the same for every person. Some people have kids earlier in life, and some people have kids later in life.

In a relationship though, does it make a difference? Age makes a difference in the circumstances and experiences of the relationship. But, does that have to be a deal breaker? And why do people point it out as if it is?

When it comes to the actual relationship, age doesn’t have to make a difference. And for me, it doesn’t. I don’t even realize he’s older than me until someone points it out. Sometimes we joke about it … especially when I stare at him blankly when he makes a reference to a movie in the 80s that well… came out the year I was born.

I’m analytical. I want to draw a line, but it’s a bit tricky. I guess ultimately, it’s a personal thing. And I choose that here, age will not make a difference for me.