The rattles in the closet...

Here’s question that came to mind today: How often does your past meet your past, present and future?

What I mean is – how often do you past experiences (your skeletons) impact your life – whether they have, they are, or they will?

We all have skeletons – those bad experiences and memories that haunt us. I’m the first to admit that there are many things that have shaped who I am now that change how I think or act. Sometimes, those changes are for the good but sometimes, they are not.

I’m a worry wart by nature. Seriously – I really am!

HA – we know that’s the understatement of the year. ;-)

I worry about everyone especially. I want everyone to be happy. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But really, I just don’t want anything bad to happen. I want to protect my family and my friends from those evils, including the evils they bring upon themselves. I’m the first to admit that I’m not perfect – I make mistakes and I don’t always do what I should. I try my best, and I know sometimes it’s not enough. And sometimes it all just comes out wrong – I think a few friendships have suffered from that… but I always mean well.

Well, the fact is that sometimes I have a hard time dealing with the worries about my own life, my own doings, my own feelings, or worse – my own future. Sometimes, you have to have faith that history won’t repeat itself. It’s finding that faith that is the biggest challenge – at least for me. Being able to sort out the emotions and facts logically and figuring out what exactly it is that I’m worried about is the challenge. It’s much easier to believe in what’s proven rather than in the unknown. The saying “take leap of faith” didn’t come from just anywhere, right?

(On a side note – why is that whenever I’m writing my blogs, so many cliché sayings come to my mind that I have to use?)

So the other part that I thought of is what is that pushes us to take that leap? What drives each of us to have that faith, when maybe you’re unsure, worried, and/or scared? No matter how you find that faith – it comes from somewhere. There are many points in our lives that we make choices – as kids, adults, parents, grandparents… and how much are those choices impacted by our past and/or by our faith?

Hitting Pause

As the saying goes, sometimes you have to stop and smell the flowers. We all get caught up in what’s constantly going on, that we forget to actually DO IT. I consider myself fortunate because that’s exactly what I got to do this week. I put my regular life on hold to do something I knew I needed to do – take care of my family. Family First. I have never done it before – not like this at least – but it was instinctive. And in the process, I came to a realization.

Every day, I have my routine. I get up, workout, make coffee, eat breakfast, make my lunch, feed my cat, drive to work, work, eat lunch, work, run an errand or two, go home, feed my cat, make dinner, and then try to squeeze in something like reading, watching TV, or spending time with friends and loved ones – then, REPEAT. There are many days or even weeks that I have resented it. There just aren’t enough hours in the day quite frankly. Don’t we all know it?

Rarely do I get the chance to push pause abruptly and leave my regularly scheduled program to do something else that is equally very important. But I did, and I’m thrilled that I did. I’m smiling ear to ear now. In just a few days of taking care of my loved ones, I was able to re-think life – how it is filled with many wonderful things and people. I have a new appreciation for my routines and relish that my daily duties are what keeps me going on an amazing path that I’ve set for myself. I got to take in my life as a whole and realize that the little things don’t matter individually; however, together they compromise my life, and it’s what I choose to put there.  

One last thought to leave you with. If I need to do this – the pause on my daily life – a little more often to remember what’s important, where does that leave everyone else? I hope that we all can someday soon hit pause (perhaps together?) and take a second to look around. We can remember that the daily stuff that bogs us down is exactly what keeps us going. If you don’t like something, then change it, but take a second – seriously, a second won’t hurt – look around and take your life in. Isn’t it amazing?

Women in the Workplace…..

A both common and uncommon topic in today’s working world is how women behave towards each other. It’s a pink elephant in this day and age, and boy do I love pointing out the pink elephants! They’re just so cute! :-P

The longer I work in the corporate world, the more I begin to see the true colors come out from every woman around me. At any level, you can see some evidence of it from every direction. I’ve seen friends thrown under the bus; I’ve been thrown under the bus. I’m sure that at times, I may be guilty of it myself. I want to make sure though that I clarify that I am really only talking about women vs. women.

But the root of my thoughts is this: why do we women do this? History builds the foundation of where we are. The history of women in the workforce dates back centuries but only made a mark to the early 1900s. The time span of both World Wars was when women really came out of their prescribed roles. Women’s place in society prior to that was to be homemakers, a full time job that was respected in many ways but definitely disrespected legally and socially. If you think about it, women ran entire households – we had to manage much more than just one person or one job. We fought for our rights – we emerged strong and prominent.

Yet, now we’re in, what I consider, a weird time. A redefining moment, if you may. 

There are so many debates out there: women starting families later in life, working women having children with demanding careers, women opting to not have children, women being more successful than men, women as single parents, and countless others.  I can’t speak to some of these debates, but I do try to learn from them. It helps me make some decisions or define my wants for my own future. Even if I don’t have my own family, I know that eventually when I do (hope I do?), I don’t want to be completely bogged down with my career but I can’t imagine a full time homemaker either. I’ll have to figure out a middle ground.

Women fight for their careers – we become combative to make a name for ourselves. Our jobs and/or careers (depending on how you look at), become our babies.  In my own company, statistics are mixed on how women fair out in the long run as leaders. Depends on your perspective really… Either way, it’s a tough road. We’re can be more emotional, but we have proven to be much more successful than men in many different situations. Note, I’m not saying better or that’s true all the time. Just that we have surpassed the stereotypes that were assigned to us for centuries.

So why, at times when we should prove to be effective workers or leaders, do we resort to childish behavior? I can’t really speak for others, so I thought about my own actions. How have I reacted at times that could be perceived as childish behavior? Here’s what I think that it comes down to. I think many women are so focused on making something of themselves, something happens to the self-orientation that typically grounds women to think of others. I am constantly amazed at the threats, real or fictitious.  It fascinates me because it results in some interesting events, rumors, and consequences. The pink elephant is there, but I’m not sure why?